The Key to Building Connections
Small talk, often dismissed as “chitchat” or “sub-talk,” is a light, informal conversation initially meant for social occasions but has since evolved into a vital part of business interactions. While it may not be universally popular—some cultures see it as a waste of time—small talk plays a crucial role in American socializing. It offers a basic overview of someone’s personality and interests, setting the stage for future interactions.
Keep It Simple:
Small talk isn’t meant to be a lengthy or in-depth conversation. Instead, it’s a way to gather information that helps you decide how to proceed with a potential friendship or hiring decision. The best conversationalists make small talk seem effortless. Although it comes naturally to some, others find it challenging. Yet, being prepared can reduce the stress of initiating or keeping a conversation flowing in an engaging direction.
Three Tips for Better Small Talk:
- Ask Questions: Focus on learning something new about the other person.
- Prepare Conversation Starters: Have three topics in different categories (e.g., sports, business, lifestyle). One of them is bound to resonate!
- Find Common Ground: Focus on shared interests or special topics to keep the conversation engaging.
Consider taking a forensic science DNA approach. This “DNA” approach can also be applied to small talk. You’re essentially gathering information about an individual’s interests and goals. People enjoy interacting with others who share common interests, making connecting easier. Use a “Conversation DNA™” to get into an information-gathering mindset and make small talk more natural. This approach is detailed in Chapter Five of “Seven Steps to Impressive Greetings and Confident Interactions.”
Small Talk Topics to Consider:
- Close the Generation Gap: Learn about the movies, music, books, and history relevant to their generation.
- Expand the Culture Gap: Explore fascinating aspects of their culture and respectfully share your differences.
- Discuss Sports: Do they enjoy participatory or spectator sports? Use this to suggest fun activities or games to watch together.
- Explore Hobbies or Pastimes: Find out what they take pride in during their leisure time. Share hobby ideas or discuss recent books or articles they’ve read.
- Be Curious About Food and Beverages: Ask about their favorite foods or if they are curious about trying something new.
- Share Talents: Discover if they sing, play an instrument, or create art. This could reveal mutual interests.
Be the Conversation Starter!
Don’t hesitate to initiate conversations and engage others. You can accomplish this by paying attention to those not conversing and asking questions to engage them. This strategy has helped me overcome shyness and awkwardness, making small talk fun and rewarding. Others will appreciate your efforts to keep the conversation alive.
Make Small Talk Fun and Engaging!
Look for every opportunity to converse when you’re out and about.
The more you practice, the easier it becomes.
Need more ideas or help? Chapter 5 also discusses a C-step building block approach to further developing your conversation approach to developing further your conversation skills: The Art of Professional Connections: Seven Steps to Impressive Greetings and Confident Interactions.
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